Well Two more months have slid by since
my last post here in my little alcove of the website. Hope ya missed me
;)
We've had way too much go on in the last two months to adequately recap,
but the fact of the matter is, we've all had a chance to smile, to hurt,
to have regret and to look forward to better times in the future.
So with that, those of you in the know of recent events can rest happily
in the knowledge I'm not rehashing.
What am I doing? Remarking to myself, and to you, how much Life imitates
Art. It seems lately, I've been acting in a rather familiar fashion, not
as I would have perhaps in the past when we've had occasion to face to
face. No, I've been acting like my fictional counterpart, Lourdes
Courtesan.
Putting double entendre's in people's mouths mostly, not suffering the
foolish, looking for ways to be subversive without appearing so.
This might not be a big thing for you, but for me, it indicates that a
hitherto recessed portion of my personality gained a voice with my character,
and those portions are certainly coming to the fore, as transition continues.
Just thought I'd share :)
Well I don't really have anything mind blowing to post tonight, except
the above, and that you are all in my thoughts :) So keep the chin up,
and stride forward into the blinding sunlight :)
-Lourdes
(c 2003-2005, Lourdes C., Recreation Dept., Medical Division, USS Avenger
NCC-1860)
I... I'm a little bit happy, euphoric, weepy, breathy, and a whole lot of other adjectives.
I ahm.. didn't think I would be but whenever its possible to advance the quality of one's life, then its cause for emotion and I'm sharing that with you.
Today's been a bad day, completely fucked up at my job with a state going down and having to field all those ensuing calls, 1 after the other, it just... sucked... but I decided to wait around instead of going home after shift and wait for the holiday paycheck to hit my bank so I could go out and get some shopping (catfood, some supplies, nothing big)... but it was so much more.
I won't share the amount, but it put me from near zero in the account to only 300 or so behind my end of the year projections. You see, this is the year of doing... The year the Autobots take back their home planet of Cybertron from Decepticon rule, and the Second Golden Age of Cybertron begins. Well, with luck the Golden Year for Lourdes begins today.
You see, this year my goal was to start Laser by the end of January. Well, I now have the funds to do that, and I'm honestly on the verge of happy tears (blinks away), I honestly was thinking of it as just another thing on a long list to get done for transition, a chore, but I hadn't really, I guess, thought of it as attainable. Lord knows it seems like a just wait and see policy has been in effect.
Well this is attainable and the possibility of finally proceeding with this step, which will banish the need of razor forever from my face and let me look in the damn mirror without having to self-loathe and say 'someday' is just... I can't describe it. YAY!!!!!!
And, this year, I've also committed myself to getting up on my debts a bit, and I'm able to keep with that as well, so right now I'm just happy, so happy. I feel like for persevering the sniveling little annoyances of the daily grind, I've been rewarded... as if some deity said, "Lourdes, its been hard I know, and its not going to be easy, but here's something to help you on your way, and to let you know, I know that you are doing the right thing... and I'm proud of you."
God? Allah? Krom? Paladine? Majere? Hathor?
I don't know but I thank whatever, whomever it is... things are just going right for a change. I hope they continue... because I am so happy right now, almost disbelievingly so, that I just can't describe it further :)
And so, I'm going to go now and get my shopping done, and contact the Laser people in the morning and I'm going to report back on that later.
Of course, I also have to go finish the certs for the College Of Alien History & Culture, so I'll get that done first most probably.
Okay, I've got boots on, a pair of jeans a heavy shirt, a thinsulate liner and a leather jacket. Can someone please explain to me why the hell I am *FREEZING* ??? Its only 8 degrees with the wind outside... I've done stints like this in the past with a serape', a pair of jeans and boots, no shirt, walking long distance in the Blizzard of 96...
...Oh I already know why...
My skin's thinned out a bit since taking hormones for one. This isn't a bad thing but cold days suck... this, I s'pose is what I get for living in the eastern mid region of the US during winter.
Still, I can't help but wonder where a Taun-Taun is when you need one. Yeah the smell's horrible, but they are warm on the inside....
Hmmm. maybe I'll just start bringing a blanket to work ;)
Oh well, enough of my complaining... I've got a headache to take care of... and laryngitis....
No Time for the long hello's only got a couple minutes before I have to get back to the grind, ut I wanted to tell everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, so... umm Happy Turkey Day!
Beyond that, you'll note that the Avenger website has been updated, that the communications chief now has access to her blog, and I'll be getting round to getting the new security chief his blog codes once I get info from the cstaff on him.
Lets see, other than that, that's bout it for me. Just hoping I don't have to go out and buy a copy of World Of Warcraft before this Turkey Day... hopefully th ebeta app will work for a free trial or something. Why do you ask? Because this Turkey day the plan is to go and Smash Orcs with Steve and Kat and crew on WoW. Anyway, Kat, if you read this, stop by Ventrilo.com and download the client. We may be able to voip via my Ventrilo server during the event!
Okay, feeling a bit better since my last blog post. I'm working on a new post for my main page area, but the recap is so voluminous, its taking a bit of time... and I still am leaving things out for brevity.
Things go fairly well on this end. Todd, Janek and Alex have arrived home (yesterday or two ago) and I think we're all finally getting some restful catch up sleep. My shoulder is killing me (Right) and other than that, I'm just waiting to get paid because my funds are extremely low at present.
Oh, since I know Kat reads this on occasion (Especially when there are major updates to the right) this next bit for her.
Kathy, at the moment, I'm fine. Just had a bad waking from a nice dream the other day and I'm over it for now. I suspect that this will happen from time to time, but for the moment, I'm okay. Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to call ya back like I said I would the other night, but with luck, tommorrow, I'll be able to do so. Hope you guys had a great time in Vegas :) Shoot me an email all about it if you get the opportunity.
Okay. That's it for me this round. Stay tuned to the main area of this page for a major month long update ;)
Not sure why, but its getting to me that my faith is shaky and try as my might not to want to equate one with the other, Superman is dead.
Now I know I'm depressed and in tears for other reasons, most notably waking up to find that my dream was just a dream and that one of my ex's (not you Kim), isn't going to show up and give me answers to burning questions in my soul. Chances are she doesn't care.
So why the hell am i listening to the Superman Theme on Loop (with the Krypton beginning theme) and feeling bad for Mr. Reeve and his family?
Maybe I'm not. Maybe its just me being selfish and wrapping this all into a simultaneous double loss situation where i can get a little release or something by tying it all together because at least the loss of Superman has a name, at least that's a hurt I can feel for real and don't need answers for. I feel bad cause Superman, is dead. Or maybe I'm just looking to my hero to save me one last time before I let him go.
So if that's true, then Chris, I'm sorry I'm so selfish. But gods Superman, I still need you.
By the Gods, its been too long since the website was updated! August! (Tail end admittedly) But wow... I need to get in an update soon. Luckily I'll have two days to do that before I go up to Avenger Territory for Kat and Steve's Wedding and Ricky's Bachelor Party. But with any luck it'll be a nice visit. Its too bad I can't get off an extra day or we'd come to the Avenger Meeting, but alas, such is the nature of work and schedules.
In other news, those that have been following the lists might have seen something going on regarding our Chief of Security Susanne Smith. Well I'm pleased to say that her plight is coming to an end and things are on the up and up. It looks like Susanne might be getting a new roommate. So it looks like she'll be okay. I personally would like to thank all of you that contributed food and monetary supply to Susanne during this trying time, it has been much appreciated.
Greetings all! Well lets see, its been a bit since I updated the blog here, so I thought I'd just start by saying that things are going a mild bit better than before.
I'm single, but I've had offers to change that status; I've had fun hanging out with friends down here, had an interesting Hathor meeting and a show (a local drunk acting up in public); and I've been to the doctor and am starting into therapy again as a cursor to being able to get onto hormones. [ without having to go off to Thailand (virtually) for my medical needs every few months.... which will save my roommates from having to run for cover when a shipment is delayed. (Yay!!!) ]
Aside from that, just drivig myself out of my mind looking for food because my job has had some problems correctly paying me lately, but they're working on it... And.. I'm out of Dew... NNNNNNNNNNNNOooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hehehhehe Not that bad really, but this water thing doesn't quite cut it and all the diet drinks in the house are definitely unacceptable.
Ah well... Pizza on Friday.
Okay, gonna run and do a bigger update to the spot on the left (or above for the 8x6'ers) later :)
