Okay, I'm not the best person in the universe, but I'm not the worst either. I've got a moment and a place to vent and to speak and so I'm doing that. Today, in the wee hours of the morning, I put in my order for Premarin. Premarin is an estrogen derived from the urine of pregnant mares... so, yum for me. But more importantly this is one of the main hormones prescribed for HRT, Hormone Replacement Therapy. And I s'pose if I'm being totally honest here, I should mention that I'm doing this without doctor supervision.

Why am I doing this? Because a year ago I got my shit together and was ready to begin HRT but lacked the fundage. Now, I still lack the major fundage, but I'm not content to wait anymore. I'm done waiting for third party approval to make change in my life. Let the doctors and psych's catch up when they can, when I can afford them, for now, I'm going ahead, all engines full.

Its not that I don't want to do this with Doctor approval/oversight, but if I can't afford em right now for the requisite 3 months of therapy before HRT, then I can't, and that's just the way it is. I've done the waiting and the hoop jumping and damn it, this is what I want, and I'm going for it. Yeah sure, its dangerous, but its just as dangerous to me to continue to let this slide. So screw it. I'm taking control of my life, let the world catch up if it must.

(c 2003, Lourdes C., Recreation Dept., Medical Division, USS Avenger NCC-1860)

Addendum: Just put up my Cafepress site to help with all this. You can go to http://www.cafepress.com/lesravienne and help a girl out. Make sure to share the link with your friends ;) This works better in mass ;)